I was reminded of how important those things are again this evening. You know, the little things. Taking time out to create a collage, plant some flowers, care for the herb garden, play frisbee under the streetlamps at night, read silly stories together, make up silly stories, give thanks before every meal….. a daughter needs her daddy to be there. Not just in person, but checked in and really there.
These might seem a bit trivial, but all these little things add up. Putting in the time is the only real way to make those memories. I find it sad to see so many fathers missing this part of their life…..
I decided to start something a bit new here on my Sunday posts. Will have to see if it sticks, but the idea is to ramble a bit about whatever comes to mind. I don’t claim to have all the answers to life, but if what I have to say helps someone, than it will be worth it, so here goes.
Having completed what is the usual painful journey of a separation and divorce of so many (50%…..can you believe that?), I learned alot about what makes me tick. More importantly, what to focus on during the process. If you have kids, its a no brainer. It breaks my heart to see so many that are still stuck in the “he said, she said, thats mine, talk to my lawyer” mindset. Everyone has the power to start all over. Stuff is just stuff and things are just things, but a child is a gift worth fighting for. And by fighting, I certainly do not mean fighting for custody. I mean fighting with yourself to make the most of what you have. Every other weekend, a few days a month, every other day, anhour a week…..what ever you are blessed with, take this gift you have as a parent and nurture your child. Shelf the anger, focus your energy, create the memories your child craves. This journey is one that needs to be taken with love and compassion, for all involved. You can blame everyone under the sun for why you are in this position, but until you take responsibility for yourself, you have a ways to go.
I know that a few of you tune into this blog for the images and silly little travel stories, so I hope you don’t mind my Sunday rambles from time to time.
Its been a while since my personal story unfolded and I can proudly say that we are all in a happy place now. I was reminded the other day however after talking with someone, that this process seems to always be happening to so many out there. If I can give a bit of advice, one little morsel of goodness, it would be to focus on becoming a better person yourself. That it! Thats all you can do! You can’t change anybody…..you can only change yourself. Of course, if you have kids, thats actually priority #1. One of the first things I did was read everything I could get my hands on about divorce and children. Trust me if you are on this journey, it will open your eyes to what is really important. Stop the blame game, shelf the excuses, and step up to the challenge.
Remember, its the little things today that create the memories of tomorrow……
happy valentines day Mike!